TOUCHING MALE CONNECTION

I was instantly alert, on hearing a young father with a baby in a pram admitting he felt lonely and helpless.

He absolutely adored his new daughter and would do anything for her to keep her safe.

He had been made redundant and had to swap roles with his wife. Against tradition, he became a stay-at-home dad, with no network of support.

There was much to learn at first; small baby handling is a massive responsibility.

At first, more things went wrong than right. He was constantly on the phone to his wife at work, much to the irritation of her boss.

He searched for a local support group for other men feeling the same frustrations. There were none; I will put out a notice on the internet and in the local papers to start my own. There must be others just like me; there are plenty for women, but none for men.

He advertised a date for a first meeting in a local park, with a set time. With some apprehension, he prepared his daughter for their first outing in a men’s and babies group.

He made his way to the centre of the park; as he walked, he saw men pushing prams heading in the same direction.

“It is working! Wow, it is working, and I thought I was only one feeling lonely and demoralised, a  complete failure of a man.

As the men gathered, he introduced himself and why he started the group. He laid his heart on the line. “I was lonely, frustrated, a failure as a man, in what was supposed to be my conventional role. Yet I had a new immense responsibility with no training for the tiny scrap of life who is my new precious daughter. 

 I had never even held a baby before. As for the crying, that is the worst; when and how do you stop it? Added to which was housework, shopping, and cooking, which I had absolutely no affinity with.”

His audience started to relax, with a nod here, a laugh there. Little cries from the babies and toddlers from time to time. As the anxious parent tried to placate them with encouragement from the nearest understanding parent.

“There is no cost for setting up this group. If you would like to, we will meet here once a week at the same time. We will walk around the park for an hour, in pairs or pausing for group discussion. The whole thing is fluid. It is good to start it now before the winter weather sets in. The rules might need to change a bit to walk to a café for hot drinks and affordable nibbles.

Could you please raise your hand if you would like to come next week, prepared to talk, share failures and successes, and how to live a good life?”

All the hands were raised. With formalities complete, talk and laughter broke free. Slowly, the group there was something to look forward to, not a blank, lonely diary stretching into the distance.

©️2026 Penny Wobbly of WobblingPen

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